More Stunned than Depressed or Angry

We knew something was wrong with my husband when he started a fever that hit 103. At first we thought it could be mild case of cellulitis he had in his leg. It was off to the Dr. office. Now the doctor was thinking along the same lines i was-what if? He put husband on an antibiotic for his leg and then put in for a Covid test;just to be sure.

Our family doctor is fantastic. We were impressed with him from day 1. The test result came back the next day and yes he tested positive. I’m being tested Mon and will probably have the results back on Tues.I am assuming for now i have Covid. There’s no way on earth with the contact i have with my husband i could NOT catch it. They’ve been reporting how the new variant was spreading and how highly transmissible it is.

Husband has his original antibiotic and they added one. He also has Ivermectin and takes 7 tablets per day,plus abuterol. They put me on a z pack and steroid for now. They’ve ordered the antibodies for my husband. We’ll have to see if they can get it in. If i test positive this week THEN they will send for antibodies for me. You have to test positive first. i can understand why they would want to reserve it for people who test positive. Makes sense. Why would give a medication to someone who didn’t need it (tests negative)?

I’m not depressed or angry. Stunned is an accurate description. i don’t think i was that surprised though. Scared? I won’t lie-a little bit. My husband just survived sepsis, bacterial endocarditis, 2 strokes and mitral valve regurgitation.He spent enough time in the hospital [months] and a nursing home. We got him to the Cleveland Clinic for his open heart surgery and the valve was repaired. The endocarditis evidently had reached his heart. It all started with a severe case of cellulitis that couldn’t have been treated fast enough.

Our goal is to get him through the virus without hospitalization. He spent far too much time in hospitals and the nursing home was a nightmare. My hand was forced on that one. I did everything i could to keep him out. i can tell you it will never happen again.

That said,our bills piled up, we got into a deal we should never have gotten into helping a so called friend that took advantage of the situation and we’ve been digging out ever since. You can only tread water for so long especially on a fixed income. The one thing we have managed to keep up-always do-is our rent. We don’t qualify for rental assistance because it’s not covid related at all. I know there is another government program but the rent goes over their limit. So that’s out. We’ve always made a point of paying our landlords and in this case our landlord here was a life saver. We were likely a month out from pitching a tent. He can’t afford to have us miss rent either.They have bills to pay like we do and in some cases it includes a mortgage. I can tell you that as high as the rent is here compared to other rentals it’s nothing.

However, the other bills have taken a hit. We’ve tried to keep up but robbing peter to pay paul every month always catches up. Now here we are and the Covid has added some expenses we don’t have the money for. Our internet is due to for a service interruption tomorrow and i can tell you we won’t be able to pay it up once it’s shut off tomorrow. If we let it go through our debit card we could keep it on but the result would be the bill PLUS an overdraft fee. That’s NOT an option. No, we do not have any credit cards and a bank loan is out.

The worst part is not the internet shut off-it’s not having the funds to get items we need to get through Covid. Our phone service will go with it. Fortunately we will still have 911 service but everything else will be gone. The lack of communication with family will be devastating. We all live in various states;without the internet or phone that’s doomed.

Last but not least my WordPress upgrade will have to go this year and that i’m afraid is up in a matter of time. It would revert back to the free service. It’s not bad but it’s nothing to write home about either; then we all have to deal with the ads. i’d have to think long and hard if i would want to keep up with it under those circumstances. i’ve managed to pay for 2 or 3 yrs. i know it’s not possible this time. Once all this goes down tomorrow i feel like finding the nearest cliff to jump off. i won’t though. It would do my husband no service. He’s going to be very upset once all this goes down anyway.

I put up a go fund me that failed so i decided to give pay pal’s fundraising platform a try. So far i’ve done no better there than i did with the go fund me account. We’ve been at ZERO-that’s $0-from day one. Honestly,it would take a miracle at this point with 1 day to go. i thought with it being a one time fund raiser people would not be reluctant to pitch in a little help.

It is going to stay a one time fund raiser.

I feel terrible enough pretty much begging for help. NEVER again. Once we’re on our feet this month it’s smooth sailing going forward. We just have to get there first.

I have to take off and get the husband’s pill regimen set up, fix us something to eat and take care of one or 2 things. We’re under quarantine meaning we’re it.

i’m leaving the link for pay pal then i’ll be back to work on some blog entries later tonight. i hope all of you stay safe out there whether its from the Covid virus or inclement weather some of the country was getting last night.

I wouldn’t wish this Covid on my worst enemy but i’m thankful so far it’s been mild (and that’s kind of scary in an odd way)and our pcp is on the ball with it.

The health dept already contacted us with instructions.i have the feeling my husband has now joined the statistics but if he doesn’t get any worse i can live with that.i hope we come out the othe side soon. Prayers for all those who have had a tragic outcome. It has to be tough.

When you hear the words you tested positive it’s a gut punch.

Now for the link to pay pal i mentioned. Please consider pitching in what you can. It would be appreciated more than you can imagine. There will come a time where we will be glad to pay it forward.