Dear Dad [ Drogi Tato]


We had a wonderful childhood.You and mom were the best. I can’t say the same for myself. It’s that time of your life governed by curiosity,imagination & magical thinking.Never try to figure out the mind of a child. Can’t be done. I have to admit i was very mischievous.You can look angelic as a child and those looks can be deceiving. I regret that i didn’t languish in the childhood you gave us. I was in too much a rush to grow up. I wish i could go back and do it all over. You wouldn’t believe the time i would spend with you if given a 2nd chance.

It was unfortunate that you didn’t get the childhood we did,but you did get the benefit of character building in your teen years. The kids from the 50’s were handed everything. We didn’t know what it was like to struggle. We didn’t know what it meant to miss out on the chance for a good education. You wanted us to have everything you didn’t. You wanted mom to have a good life.


Seems like the world was turned upside down by the time i was 14. It was certainly a different world than the one you and mom grew up in. Now i can understand the confusion you must have been going through.

We were not wrong to question everything but some of us were wrong in not discerning the values that were worth keeping.

I wish i had been a better daughter but you will be happy to know that everything you taught us was the foundation for [my]coming back to earth.

I also want you to know that i was happy to get to know you for real. I regret not doing it sooner.I would have spent far more time with you and mom sooner rather than later.

Those last few years will always remain with me.

I hate the night i got the phone call from mom. It was 3:00 a.m. When mom passed and i got the phone call, i can remember the exact day and time always.

I knew it was coming. I just had no idea it was that day. I should have known. I remember we took you out back in your wheelchair, along with your oxygen hose, to get a look at your garden. Mom put out a chair for the 2 of us. We didn’t say a word. You weren’t speaking much by then anyway. We came back and mom showed you the Leaf Guard so you would know how that turned out. We took you on the back porch and i think mom gave you your morphine. I recall looking at your feet and noticed the edema. I mentioned it to mom and said we had to get your legs elevated. You were very tired though and we took you to bed. Part of it was the morphine but part of it was truly being tired. That was the same night the call came.

I wish now we had gotten your legs elevated and not put you to bed. You think things like that. You begin to wonder if something you had done would have made a difference.

You were a totally awesome dad. You made those beautiful  valentine’s boxes in grade school for us They won 1st prize. You brought home our first puppy ,Ginger, and let him sit in bed with us.You let us jump on you,our imaginary horse and smiled through it all. I can’t remember giggling but i’m sure we did. I also remember mom saying,”you wait till your dad gets home.” It could be good as we always looked forward to daddy coming home or it could be bad because we gave mom a hard time.

You (and mom)made sure we knew all our prayers,that we did our homework and went to Mass on Sundays. You also made sure we stopped by the bakery for those homemade chocolate donuts and the news stand for our comics.

I haven’t tasted a baked good like those since and the comic books today do not compare to the ones from the 50’s and 60’s. It was good vs evil and good always won.

We couldn’t wait to sit down on Sunday nights and watch Bonanza as a family. Again, it was good vs evil and good always won.

As teens we talked politics around the dinner table. You and mom were dyed in the wool Democrats. Dad,you 2 would not even recognize the party today. I am no longer a Democrat.

You built a study desk for my brother. It had that map of the United States for a background. You got us a set of the Encyclopedia Britannica but I know for a fact  brother made more use of them than i did.We kidded him about growing up to be a garbage collector when we knew all along he was probably destined to be a scientist or mathematician. I swear brother wanted to be a teacher from day one. He became a teacher.

the little scientistkids(ah,the adventures on that bike)

There wasn’t anything you and mom wouldn’t do for each other. When mom went out of town for a day we always had to build a fire in the fireplace for her to come back to. You knew how much she enjoyed that. It was the same fireplace brother and I would sit in front of for hours during the winter. I also remember the phone call i got from you…it sounded like an emergency.You were cleaning out the fireplace like you did now and then and said you had ashes all over the place. “Your mom is going to kill me”,you said. She wouldn’t but you were definitely panicked. I ran over. You had put the hose on the shop vac backwards. I got it cleaned up. Those were the later years when you needed more help than i could ever imagine you needing. You were so vulnerable,so thin and so prone to falling. It was difficult to see. I was angry when they sent you home from the hospital too early-i was angry when they kept you there too long.

You want the truth Dad. I did not feel they-the hospital- treated you or mom very well.You bore it with remarkable courage and patience. I did not take it well, but it wasn’t in your best interest to let you know how broke my heart was for you.

This was not the superman dad,  we grew up with, i was seeing. I think for that reason you were ready to go home. I horribly regret my wasted years. I very much cherish the final years.

Your greatest pride was your son going off to college and your other was your grandson.You didn’t say it-didn’t have to.Easy to see.

dad was really proud of his grand son(Alexa holding Yoda)

I’ll always wish we could have kept you longer. I am glad we did the one last thing you asked us to do.You wanted the American flag hanging from the front porch for July 4th.Mom got you one and it got put up.You were waiting for your hummingbirds to come back too. They were late but they came.

Dad’s grotto to Mary. The roses that bloomed every year we’re amazing!

dad's grotto to mary

More than 60 yr together

mom and dad in loveBóg kocha Ciebie